My confusion, my focus. my question

This was, more for me, something spiritual and imaginary to think. It was a thought to me. It is more of me being myself. I like being myself when I can. Sometimes I do get scared of what I create... I think of art as an outlet. I like art, my spiritual sense, and my dark sense because of what... How should I put it? The picture is me. It is me in that fantasy world of a comic. I feel like this is me.
What do I mean in a confusion?

I see myself in an altered state, a fighter state, someone willing to do damage. And someone who is also fighting something hoping that some will relate to it. If you had a life reflecting some type of darkness and you felt push to your limit, what would you in that point? What is your distress call? What is your meaning for your purpose at that point? When fight or flight kicks in and makes it depressing or a nightmare?

And then you think, can I turn that around to the bright light? Can a wrong be turned into a light?